Saturday, February 28, 2009

breathe.

I have had the realization that my life has become a series of shallow breaths. 
I call these breaths weekends.
Sometimes the breaths are deeper than others.
Last "breath" was hardly a breath at all.
Some breaths bring air fresh and invigorating surging into my lungs.
Some breaths are wasted.
Some breaths are life-altering.
Some breaths are life-saving.

My breath is my Sabbath.
My Sabbath is my breath.

I am living and breathing in a cycle of rush and rest.
Rush.
Rest.
Rush.
Rest.


Lord...

Grant me rest.

Let me just breathe for a moment.


Let me breathe You in.

Let me take You in.


May I gain life from You.


You are my Strength.

You are my Life.

You are my Power.

You are my Breath.


You are my Everything...

And I owe everything to You.


Breathe in.
Breathe out.
...
Breathe in.
...
Breathe out.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

winterfest.

This past weekend was Winterfest.

I must say the opportunity to spend a weekend in Gatlinburg with twenty or so of my best friends is a wonderful experience, despite the noticeable chunk it takes out of my time spent sleeping.
I was also able to see a good portion of my teens from this past summer at Harpeth Hills and even a few from two summers ago at Fourth Avenue which was quite a joy.
I was able to celebrate one of my newer friend's 21st birthday at midnight, and spend more time dancing than I probably ever have in the span of 3 days (this year: Lipscomb booth=dance party, Harding booth=Disney Scene-It, Freed booth=Apple Store knock-off... all seemed appropriate for different reasons)

I know usually my blogs are more theological than this, and I'm sure more will spring from this weekend, but this preliminary report is just to say that, yes, I am very much alive, and God is good for the joy he brings through His people.
It's good to be back in Nashville.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

slow.

There are times in my life where I envy Jesus' ability, or more appropriately, his discipline to retreat to the wilderness.
So many moments in life call for stress, headaches, and sadness... how much does it take before we escape to the wilderness to rise from it and seek intimacy with God?

I've had the realization today that I am well past ready to leave America for a little while. I'll be returning to my island home in Saba in just over three weeks, and I have already passed the point of anticipation.  I just want to be somewhere time slows down.  
As I was once told, "Whatchu runnin' for? Nobody runs in Saba."
I doubt anybody runs in Heaven.

I remember Mark Yaconelli telling the story of his son starting "the Slow Club" when I heard him speak at Youth Specialties.  The two rules of Slow Club are (1) No Running and (2) No Hurrying.
I like the sound of Slow Club, but the truth is, I would be a crappy member.
As much as I hate it, I love to hurry.

But there is something about stepping off a plane in Saba that instantly proclaims peace
During the week we will do America's best to hurry from one event to the next with high expectations and high organization, but, despite that, there is an unmistakable calm that cannot be ignored.
In every still moment, there is Grace.

With the life I live here... it's almost fantastic to imagine that there are still moments in the world. Oh, how I long for that Peace!
I long for it so much that it's hard to tell myself that I am the only thing standing in the way of achieving it.
I have every opportunity to join the Slow Club; to settle down and 'participate in the unforced rhythms of God's grace' (Eugene Peterson).

It really coincides with my previous post about sunshine and how it makes it easier to be a Christian sometimes... Something about moving slowly, having no place to be, and having no set time to be there makes it easier to be a Christian.

Soon enough I'll be back in Saba. I'll have my moments in which I'll break the Slow Club rules, whether it be on my own terms or at the mercy of the group, but I pray that I savor the moments in which time stands still.
I just want to savor the moments in which I am engulfed by my Creator's Love and Peace.
Because I know when I step back on American soil the Slow Club will all but disappear, and I'm going to have a hard time being its only member in the Atlanta airport. That's a sad moment, but it is still fully within the overwhelming Peace of God.

Father, show me Peace. The real Peace that can be found in you and you alone.  I want to love like you love, and I want to breathe with the same purpose and rhythm that you have called me to.  I cannot live without you and your purpose for my life, and I need your Peace to envelop my struggle to be fully alive. I am yours, may our hearts beat as one. 
Amen. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

center.

It's time I started focusing on what is at the center, the core of my existence.

As I walked from work this afternoon I realized that exactly 0% of my day was dedicated to the purposes of God.

During this day I went to three different "Bible classes," chapel, bowed my head for a handful of prayers, and interacted with several beloved friends.

At no point did I acknowledge God's intimate presence.

I can't even say that things changed after I made this realization around dinner time as I walked to my apartment. I'm not sure if things have changed even now as I write this, but I know it's time.

A day lived outside the purposes of God is a day not lived at all.
There is no motivation.
There is no center.

True life is found in Christ, nowhere else. 
May we keep striving, without ceasing, for a daily life centered around the perfect representation of life, who is Christ. 
Amen.

Friday, February 13, 2009

listen.

I don't mean to form a habit of basing blog entries on Dr. Dog lyrics, but I've been listening to them a lot in preparation for their concert here this Saturday... so I just ask for one pardon.

"Oh my God, he listens to me. And I ain't even talking out loud, oh my God."

There have been too many moments to count in my life in which I have not had the last clue what to say to God. I find that's one of my struggles in maintaining this blog actually. I'll confess, it can be tough for me to consistently offer wise, unprompted thoughts on faith. Maybe because I'm not wise, maybe because I'm human, maybe because I'm searching.

But these are the moments in which I am thankful that no words are needed to express everything I feel, or don't feel, to God.

It's like the song we sang too many times at church camp, yet, for some reason, it never really got old to me, "Listen to Our Hearts."  There is something about that sentiment that has an immeasurable allure.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of ways to go about letting God listen to our hearts that are, well, downright lazy. There is also an allure of an abuse of this element of God's wisdom in which we may be tempted to go through our day, without a passing thought of God, but call it even because we know he was in our hearts... We've all tried that one... I don't think that's quite how it works.

God is ready to listen, He's ready to interpret our silent confusion, our utter helplessness. 
We simply have to invite him in. Allow him to read our heart, and open our soul to his infinite wisdom.

Father, enter my heart, overcome my inadequacy, decipher my thoughts, and tell me who I am. 
I am nothing apart from you. Consume my soul, pull me in, hold me close. 
Listen to my heart. 
Lord, may it beat for you.

sun.


















"I was just sitting here with my stick, enjoying the sun... shine."
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDSj8sv0uKs)

There's is something magical to me about a sunny day. 
I'm pretty sure sunshine makes it a little easier for me to have faith.

One of my favorite recurrent moments with God are the times I can just walk outside on a perfect day (today is one of those days where being indoors is simply a sin) and know that the warmth of the Sun is radiating God's overpowering Love.

To feel His Pride and Joy on my face is perfection. 
It is a moment in which I am no longer walking to class or to work, I'm not worrying about the quiz I just bombed, the things I have to do, or my lack of sleep. Those moments are timeless.

I need to strive for a constant communion with God like the ones I find on sunny days. 
Feel His caress and Power in the wind of the winter.
Know Peace in the snow (if we ever got any).
Take Joy in the grace falling with rain.

Take every chance you get to walk outside and tilt your head back. 
Life is beautiful.